I am not a believer of fate and destiny. I don't like that idea at all which takes away the control from you. But I like to have that option in my case. Every time I get to choose what to do , with prior thinking about the situation at hand. This control is not the overall type that I decide what to happen. I just want to have a sense that decides what to do and what not do.
But there were some situations in which someone said to my face " No you are not that type" " You can't do that" "I m sure it's not going to be you". I used to get angry at such statements. There is something in me which desperately wanted to prove them wrong. I wanted to. Now I think they are right after all.
People said to me that I resemble my father. I thought it was a compliment but later understood that it was a warning. I now think that the reason for me being not so social is not the surrounding s which I was brought up ; not my student peer group but it was genetic. My father. On listening to my brother and my mother about my father's past actions, I see myself in him. I seem to just replicate him in ways. The soft nature , the sensitive behavior, not so social type, ego.. etc. I now feel that may be I am doomed with this nature in me.
I don't know what to do. May be learn to adapt and transform. That's the best I could do to learn on my own.
