I think I stopped coming here when I joined MBA.
A lot of things happened during MBA and after that.
Sometimes I am just afraid to go back to those memories, they give the same intense sharp pain even now. Each time pain seems to be different. A period of calmness followed with excruciating pain for some months.
Most of the time is it either anger or sadness that has the grip on me. Neither makes me go forward. As I write, I think I am near sadness as whole day I was so angry.
A lot of words, phrases running in my head to come out, I just wanted to vent out this anger or sadness but I cannot. It is being submerged for a while now. All I see, anger is bad and I am too emotional. I really cannot understand how people come out of things like this.
Sometimes I feel I am just angry at her and him and all others for all brutal lies to me. I really believed she wouldn't lie to me. But when I look back, she has been doing it all the time with others.
Okay.
Enough of anger words or dialogue, as it will not change her or bring her back and I don't want her back. It is pretty useless in this case.
"Be proactive, make a plan, strive towards it", this is what everyone says to me, "Come out of it". They are right.
I need a short term goal. Given the situation could go even worse, that is another headache. I am not behaving properly with parents and not spending time with them at all. Why should I be like this just because a person lied and went away from me and lied of her intentions? I can't punish myself. First I need to sleep better. How? I need to think better. How? I should not over think.
Overthinking, getting angry thoughts will not help.
Yes, she lied. Yes, she likes that 40 year old. Can you change that? You cannot control. You don't know. She lied to your face, she didn't give importance to you. Why don't you think good about yourself?
Why do you punish yourself for someone like her who has no values? Leave it, start a new. I know it is difficult, it has been 3 months and still stuck there. Others have completely healed themselves if at all. Lets not think about them, think about yourself.
What do you want to do? what do you want to become? what is your goal?
A lot of things happened during MBA and after that.
Sometimes I am just afraid to go back to those memories, they give the same intense sharp pain even now. Each time pain seems to be different. A period of calmness followed with excruciating pain for some months.
Most of the time is it either anger or sadness that has the grip on me. Neither makes me go forward. As I write, I think I am near sadness as whole day I was so angry.
A lot of words, phrases running in my head to come out, I just wanted to vent out this anger or sadness but I cannot. It is being submerged for a while now. All I see, anger is bad and I am too emotional. I really cannot understand how people come out of things like this.
Sometimes I feel I am just angry at her and him and all others for all brutal lies to me. I really believed she wouldn't lie to me. But when I look back, she has been doing it all the time with others.
Okay.
Enough of anger words or dialogue, as it will not change her or bring her back and I don't want her back. It is pretty useless in this case.
"Be proactive, make a plan, strive towards it", this is what everyone says to me, "Come out of it". They are right.
I need a short term goal. Given the situation could go even worse, that is another headache. I am not behaving properly with parents and not spending time with them at all. Why should I be like this just because a person lied and went away from me and lied of her intentions? I can't punish myself. First I need to sleep better. How? I need to think better. How? I should not over think.
Overthinking, getting angry thoughts will not help.
Yes, she lied. Yes, she likes that 40 year old. Can you change that? You cannot control. You don't know. She lied to your face, she didn't give importance to you. Why don't you think good about yourself?
Why do you punish yourself for someone like her who has no values? Leave it, start a new. I know it is difficult, it has been 3 months and still stuck there. Others have completely healed themselves if at all. Lets not think about them, think about yourself.
What do you want to do? what do you want to become? what is your goal?
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